Super Mario Brother

I need your help- how villainous is my little brother? Help me answer this question.

First of all, you need to know that when I first moved to Toronto 13 years ago I lived with my little bro Kevin for a couple years. This was a very good choice because a) it helped both of us get started in the big city and b) I got and kept this sweet ass apartment at a very good rate. The landlord gave it to us because he could see we were good family folk.

It was a bad idea because I will forever be known as “living with my brother.” I was at a family function this summer, 11 years after he moved out, and asked if we were still living together. Like Mathew and Marilla Cuthbert. Jesus, no. Come on.

The other reason it’s a bad idea is that your brother might turn out to be a VILLAIN. A careless, mean villain. THIS GUY fixed it so that I’d be ETERNALLY Nintendo-frustrated. I’ve spent the last 11 years feeling like every day has been an ice level… unable to get a grasp on reality and slipping off the sides of cliffs over and over.

When Kevin lived here, we had a Nintendo (the original family Nintendo) his Super Nintendo, and my Super Nintendo- which had been a Christmas gift from him years earlier.

After he moved out, I was left with my Super Nintendo… and an AC adapter for the original Nintendo. They didn’t match and I couldn’t use the Super Nintendo at all.

HOW MANY TIMES OVER THE YEARS did I ask him to check his adapters and make sure he didn’t take mine??!! Many!! And every time I was told that no, he had both his systems hooked up and working. Then why the hell was I left with mismatching equipment?

Adding to the confusion was that my 2nd roomate had a Gamecube, N64 and a Wii here until he moved out… I wondered if somehow this was part of the mystery. Wondered enough to prevent me from going over to my brothers and interrogating him Batman style.

Recently I started having Mario 3 dreams and very much have been wanting to play AllStars. Literal dreams in my sleep. I’ve been very busy working on projects beyond my full time boarding job but knew the end was in sight. And when the end came, I was going to play my effing Nintendo dammit! I messaged my villain bro Kevin to check one more time because otherwise I was going to go to the game store and do a trade in to get the correct adapter.

The messaging went on and on over a week. He asked why I didn’t just sell it on Ebay. That made no sense. He wasn’t reading carefully enough to get what I was saying. Blah blah blah and then he mentions offhand that one of his adapters is a 2 in 1. WHICH MEANS IT WORKS FOR BOTH SYSTEMS WHICH EXPLAINS WHY HIS NINTENDO WORKS EVEN THOUGH I HAVE THE ADAPTER FOR IT AND FINALLY THE MYSTERY WAS SOLVED!

WHAT KIND OF GUY gifts his sister a Super Nintendo and then secretes away the adapter so that she can’t play and then GASLIGHTS her for 11 years!!!

Okay fine it was carelessness, not intentional gaslighting, but the effect was the same. It almost broke me. I’m ALMOST a broken woman!

Now you would think this guy would RUSH over with the correct adapter and a bouquet of flowers and maybe a brand new Nintendo Switch to apologize- but no. He took his damn time and it was still about 2 weeks.

And you’d think that I’d punish him somehow, maybe by holding on to his NES adapter for 11 years to teach him a lesson. But no, I gave it to him. We just fired up the SNES and played Mario Allstars and Tetris Attack and ate pizza.

HOWEVER I don’t actually own Allstars, so he lent to me. Or did he? Do I still have it? I don’t think so. Maybe he meant this copy of Marioworld? He has Marioworld so why would he need 2? I dunno. I can barely understand what he’s asking because reading messages is SUCH a chore.

Yeah man like I dunno, I dunno WHERE this copy of Allstars came from but I will be happily playing it for the next 11 years.

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